Sincerely, A Clueless DL

Dear family and friends,

This week I felt like I was back to square one again, as I always feel when I enter a new area. It was compounded by the fact that I changed district, zone, city, house, companions, and everything else, and being a District Leader on top of that. It has been an interesting first week. But I'm loving it so far! We have done so much service, and it feels good. Attached are some pictures of Saturday morning, when we helped to build a house with Habitat for Humanity for a few hours. We put up sheetrock on the ceiling and walls, and lined the window frames with the same material. I really loved doing that!

Elders King and Crowley are cool, and we've been having a good time together, so far. They are a bit more sports-oriented than I am, but we get along well enough. I am excited for the future!

Today I truly feel overjoyed for all God's goodness and mercy toward me, especially because He has saved me from ignorance and has given me a truly good family, and has surrounded me with more good people. I thank Him for that.

Sincerely,

Elder Hill

(A Clueless DL)

Fotos: Yo y mis compañeros (sí, mamá, ya llevo casco, no te preocupés); y el proyecto de construcción, durante y después del servicio.

A Homeless Woman

Family and friends,

This week went by very quickly, especially since Thursday when I found out I'm being transferred to Grand Island! That wasn't completely unexpected, but there was still a small element of surprise. I will be in the area Grand Island Spanish 1, though, so I'm excited to be back to speaking Spanish! I will be a district leader and co-trainer (with Elder King) of Elder Crowley. I know nothing more than that at this time, so I'll fill y'all in later.

Yesterday was an interesting last Sunday for me in the YSA ward. We arrived at Church about ninety minutes early to attend Ward Council, but we had forgotten that it was only the bishopric meeting that day; but Bishop Terry had us give a report on our work, regardless, and then we were excused. We were about to find something else useful to do when another guy (who had also come, forgetting it wasn't a ward council day) asked us if we could help a woman who had just walked in, explaining he wasn't sure what to do. She was right there on the other side of the room, an African-American woman a bit shorter than I am, clutching tightly to a small nacho tray full of chex mix. We went up to her and greeted her amiably, but she didn't respond at all, staring off into space. A moment later, she wandered slowly away still with a blank face. Elder Harwood and I shrugged, not thinking overly much about it, so we sat down, pulling out some scriptures to read. But as we began, she came back and asked very timidly, voice trembling, "Do you guys do Deliverance?" I immediately felt a chill. When we asked, she clarified that she wanted "deliverance" from an evil spirit. We explained briefly the Priesthood of God, and that we possibly could help; but we definitely felt out of our depth. We got the Bishop from his meeting for a moment to see what he thought, and after a bit of failed attempts to communicate with her and some discussion with us, he managed to have her sit down and he returned to his meeting, leaving her in our care and that of the other man.

We sat with her for about an hour. She kept a firm grip on her chex mix the whole time, never showing any sign of unclenching her hand. At one point, I felt I should read the scriptures to her, and I thought of Mosiah 3, which testifies of Christ (which is strange, because I generally don't think of Mosiah 3 before other chapters like Mosiah 14 and Alma 7); I asked if I could read her some scriptures, and she nodded. I read a couple of verses, but then suddenly she she looked pained and told me to stop, seeming agitated, and said she needed to be able to hear "him". For a while, every time we spoke she shook her head slightly and pointed to her ear. There was only silence. Elder Harwood asked if she wanted to hear some music, and she alternated between saying yes and no multiple times until she said it was alright. She seemed soothed by some hymns, but eventually we stopped the music and offered a blessing, which she accepted after much patient coaxing. It seemed not to help at all, however, and she continued to stare fixedly off into space, unwavering. The meetings had to start at about that time, so we invited her to join the services, and she did, though at times during it she randomly got up and shuffled toward the door only to turn around and come back. She even seemed to want to speak at one point - it was a testimony meeting, so I suppose she saw others going up to the podium and naturally followed suit; but the bishop actually led her gently back to her seat, instead, which was good.

After the meeting was over, she spontaneously spat up a bit of something, and a couple of people helped clean it up, but even so she remained stone-faced. She then got up and walked directly put of the room in her slow shuffle and continued straight outside, then turned around as though she were lost (we followed her to make sure she was safe). We ran to get a member or two to help, and as she walked away we managed to keep her in the parking lot area while someone called the police to come pick her up. Other members took over so we could leave, but we were informed later that she was actually from a homeless shelter here in Lincoln, and had disappeared. How she somehow found the Institute building is beyond me, and whether or not she knew its location beforehand I can't say; but one thing I do know is that the shelter she came from is over a mile away, and is not in a straight line from here. Nobody knows how she made it all the way there, especially considering her slow shuffle and her seeming loss of direction. But I'm glad it all turned out well.

So, that was easily the most interesting thing that happened to me this week. I feel like her ailment was most likely a combination of mental illness and something else, because I felt something was spiritually off about her. But I hope she manages to find the help God wants her to have.

Anyway, back to happy thoughts, I'm training! I make so many dad jokes already that Elder Harwood keeps yelling at me to get a child already; now I'm getting one. I hope my trainee doesn't assassinate me. But God is good, and I am so happy He has considered me worthy to train another Elder in this great service.

Love,

Elder Hill

Fotos: intercambios con los Élderes de Beatrice, un "wrap" de jalapeño y sardinas, una mantis religiosa que vimos durante un servicio, y unas ardillas.

Miracles and Grace

Family and friends,

This week has felt slow to me, actually. There were multiple days in which my companion and I just felt wasted and tired. 

But hey, we saw two miracles yesterday! The first was at Sacrament meeting - we attended University YSA for the first time - which a person we teach attended. He seemed to enjoy it, and afterwards the new bishop got to talking with him a bit himself, unprompted (go, Bishop!). Scott, the guy we teach, texted us afterwards, "I fought them back but Brother Terry put tears in my eyes you will be seeing me again". That blew our minds! He had never been one to display much interest before, but he confessed that that conversation with the Bishop brought tears to his eyes! We were blown away.

Second miracle: a young woman we still have never met agreed yesterday to a baptismal date, which baptism would be for the YSA ward! The Elders of Holmes Lake told us about it last night, and we were shocked. She had told them that she watched the baptismal service of a friend and immediately felt the Spirit and wanted to be baptized herself. There's nothing more to it! She just asked to be baptized and is extremely excited to learn more. We will have the pleasure of meeting her tomorrow. That surprise was especially welcome because last week nobody in the ten areas in the zone had committed to baptism; but this week three people have committed to it! God is still moving this work along, despite any and all efforts against it. It will continue "until the great Jehovah shall say, The work is done."

We have also been teaching a young man named Liem for a long time. He knows a LOT about the Bible, and so has his strong convictions and biases, and sometimes our discussions become heated. We actually just talked with him this morning, though it's P-day (wow, look how consecrated I am 🤣), and it went quite poorly. He wanted to bash against certain of our beliefs on the nature of the Godhead and its Members. This past week I have been particularly bothered by such conflicts, as well as the constant debate over faith and works and baptism. It honestly hurts to see the world in such deep apostasy that I can explain something perfectly, expounding the meaning of the scriptures by the gift of "words of knowledge", showing them clearly why is is that a certain doctrine is sensible by the Bible, and yet they still choose to ram their heads against the brick wall of their own biases instead of taking the true path. This morning, he implored us to put our biases aside so we could talk reasonably about things, but he doesn't understand that without reading the Book of Mormon in the same way he reads the Bible, he will never comprehend our reasoning in anything. I wish that I could open his eyes and show him everything; "Yea, I would declare unto every soul, as with the voice of thunder, repentance and the plan of redemption, that they should repent and come unto our God, that there might not be more sorrow upon all the face of the earth. But behold, I am a man, and do sin in my wish; for I ought to be content with the things which the Lord hath allotted unto me" (Alma 29:2-3). That is my only sorrow right now, and my biggest frustration: not being able to convince them myself. It has been a hard lesson in the fact that if I don't teach with the Spirit, the teaching is not of God (D&C 50:17-18).

I am mostly just grateful that God forgives me my big head. It's never a conscious pride, but whenever I begin to contend to try to prove why we're right, I unconsciously try to assert dominance over God; the Spirit is grieved, and my priesthood power is lost, so I cannot convince anybody (D&C 121:37). But I can say again and again, with faith and certainty, that as I go to God and lay my weaknesses down, I continue to find forgiveness and grace. God is better to me that I can express, because He has saved me from a worse fate. I'm eternally overjoyed with His mercy amid all my error.

In short, my life is so good, and I am happy with what God has done with me. He is so good.

Love,

Elder Hill

Would I have done this better?

Family and friends,

This week was tiring, and yesterday was especially difficult. I have been getting poor sleep all week, and yesterday I found myself drained and drooping all day long. But somehow it still went by quickly, and I slept better last night. God is so kind to me.

There were mid-transfers this week, and a couple of people were switched around and two new trips were created, now making four; in our zone there are ten companionships but there are have 24 missionaries. So many!

Also, yesterday Andy went to Church for the first time! He even got to witness a man being set apart to a position after the meeting! That was a cool experience.

There's not much else I would like to share right now except my thoughts. Something very interesting hit me last night as Elder Harwood and I were talking - we can't change the past. Let me explain. So many people ask themselves, "Could I have done this better?" whereas a better question would probably be, "Would I have done this better?" The fascinating thing about that subtle change is that the answer to the first question is always "yes", while to the second it is always "no": because, did we really do it better? No? Then we wouldn't have done it better! You know better now how to do it, but you didn't know then, so you simply would not have done it better! Instead of worrying about what we could have done better in a given situation, we have to move on, because Christ already died to save us from the trouble of worrying about such things. That was a very calming thought, and I think it can be quite profound.

Just know, all you who will listen, that I know "He lives who once was dead", and that He really does care about all of us. I know it because He always upholds me in all I do.

With lots of love,

Elder Hill

Fotos: mi actitud de "chip-on-the-shoulder", mi reacción de "knee-jerk", nosotros despidiendo al Élder Self (en el centro, con el pelo negro y la máscara), y luego Élder Harwood en su estado natural.

Ever heard a cornea joke than this?

Family and friends,

About the subject line, I randomly got a cut in my eye last night that spontaneously appeared, without any apparent cause at all. Literally no cause at all. It just suddenly flared with pain, and that was that! It's a lot better this morning, but it's still bothersome.

But hey, on the topic of medical stuff, I got a blood test and an X-ray at a doctor appointment to check on some abdominal pain I had begun having around the 4th of July, and I'm completely healthy! I guess it was just a random anomaly, because the pain has since disappeared, and I've been free of it for over a week without any worsening. So I don't have appendicitis, just so y'all know. I'm fine.

This week was quite busy again, with many administrative meetings and many other errands that have taken up loads of time. But we have some plans for next week to be able to use our time better than we have been, so hopefully we will be able to contact the people we need to contact! Thank you all so much for your prayers and support in these weird times. I can feel your love and care.

Love,

Elder Hill

Foto: yo en el vestido medical

Lost in a Swamp

Family and friends,

This week was so good! We were grinding for the whole week, but then we got to Saturday. Presidente told us we could do a zone activity if it was approved by him (because, he said, nobody would receive us that day - turned out he was right: our only lesson fell through), and he approved our plan! (Well, it was the Sister Training Leaders who came up with the plan; we won't take credit for it.) It made for an amazing day!

We started out at 4:00 on a walk through the woods in the same wilderness park I had visited before, and it was a fun experience. Afterwards, we went to the Stake Center parking lot and all the Sisters cooked some burgers. It was novel seeing the women taking over the grill. XD We played with frisbees and footballs in the parking lot. Some other unknown people also came to the other side of the parking lot and set off some small fireworks, so we had some of that action though we weren't allowed to handle them ourselves. We even had root beer floats after dinner! It was one of the best zone activities I've ever had!

That night, we didn't sleep very well, because people are VERY into fireworks here. At about 11:00, we heard a firework go off nearby that shook the entire house - the kind that would be highly illegal in Arizona because it would burn down the whole Phoenix metropolitan area. It was definitely a cultural experience.

Then, on Sunday, we went to Church for the first time in forever! It was particularly interesting, as we did not sing at all, and those passing the Sacrament put on masks and gloves right before passing the bread AND before passing the water - they were required to change their gear after coming in close proximity with everyone else. We even met there a guy we're teaching, named Liem. He's 17 and REALLY smart. It's been fun meeting with him these weeks I've been here.

But today was different. We went frisbee golfing again, but we got to a hole that was a bit harder than the others: we started atop a hill overlooking about forty yards of reed-like plants, about eight feet tall, that would swallow any frisbee with no salvation possible; just beyond all that was the area of the hole. Everyone else was too afraid to go first, so I just sent it, chucking it hard and far. It went pleasingly far, but not quite pleasingly enough to please me as enoughly as I would have wanted to be pleased. It fell among the plants. Full of faith, I and another elder forged ahead down the hill and into the plants. Near the borders, there was a bit of standing water, but nothing much, so I just kept going. It started getting high enough to seep into my shoes, though, so I just gave up trying to be careful and plowed into the plants. I soon found myself ankle deep, and then calf deep, in quite smelly water and mud. And then, when I started to feel my hope fade a bit, I saw it! I absolutely screamed in in delight and in wonder at the miracle of having found it at all. It was quite the experience, and I'm glad I did that at least once, though I'll never do it again.

So, yeah, that was my miracle for the week.

Love,

Elder Hill

P.S. Annette, my mom told me about your comments and I'll answer them myself! I am serving in the Capital/YSA area, which includes those two wards. And yes, it definitely is the same zone! It's a very good zone, too, full of hard workers; which makes me happy because it is so much easier being a zone leader over a zone that works! As I write this I'm actually in the local Institute building with the Mahoney elders! One of them just got beaten in pool, and another of them is currently being beaten in pool. Wait, no! He actually just won by the other elder getting the 8 ball in the wrong hole! Pobrecito. XD

(Note from Lani:  Ben's cousin-once-removed Annette Fairbanks served in the Nebraska Omaha mission, and had asked if he is serving in the Mahoney area in Lincoln.)

Fotos: son de la zona, de las actividades en la playa, de las Hermanas cocinando, de mí y mi bandera. También hay un video de la pérdida de mi frisbee.

Desmayándome por Gozo (Overwhelmed with Joy)

Family and friends,

This week was quite long and quite busy. Elder Carter and I had not been expecting to separate so soon, but now here we are. There were many loose ends I had to catch and tie up these past few days, so it's been a struggle, and I've been very stressed. But hey, I'm still enjoying life! We are seeing blessings all over, and I am loving it!

I am also very blessed to have Elder Harwood as my companion, as he has a very strong testimony of what we do, and from the moment he arrived I've felt that he has revelation for the people we teach because of his charity. He is a good man, and we get along wonderfully.

There was something really interesting that happened, though: we taught two lessons at once! We had agreed to meet with a convert who needs a lot of help and support, but also has mental issues (perhaps schizophrenia), so his thoughts are always very discontinuous. When we were to meet with him, we were still in a lesson over text with another lady who was exploring Christianity for the first time; that lesson ran very long because of the delay in response (but she didn't want to do a video call, so it's alright). In short, considering all the circumstances (both of them had quite urgent needs to respond to immediately), we decided to continue with both at the same time, relying on the Spirit and on each other to juggle both adequately: I would be writing a text message discreetly with one ear in the conversation while Elder Harwood talked with the man, then I would give the phone to him and take over the discussion while he read through the message to approve and send it (according to the technology rules). And it worked! That is the most amazing thing to me: we managed to bless the lives of both of them at the same time, even though both came from nearly opposite religious situations! Miraculous. Even though it seemed to me like it could have been rude to the man we were teaching by video call, it seems God took care of it all, and He fixed everything up for us. Nobody was offended, and everyone was blessed. That was an interesting experience that I'll probably never experience again!

Then, on Saturday, I received a package from my fam - the first time in my mission, too, because I would never have received it in Argentina! It was an exciting time. So exciting that my physical frame was overcome, and I fell to the earth, overwhelmed with joy. See photo.

I love you all!

Elder Hill

Fotos: cuando me desmayé por gozo; cuando Élder Carter y yo nos separamos; conociendo a una Hermana Hill; y ahora mismo con Élder Harwood.