Miracles and Grace

Family and friends,

This week has felt slow to me, actually. There were multiple days in which my companion and I just felt wasted and tired. 

But hey, we saw two miracles yesterday! The first was at Sacrament meeting - we attended University YSA for the first time - which a person we teach attended. He seemed to enjoy it, and afterwards the new bishop got to talking with him a bit himself, unprompted (go, Bishop!). Scott, the guy we teach, texted us afterwards, "I fought them back but Brother Terry put tears in my eyes you will be seeing me again". That blew our minds! He had never been one to display much interest before, but he confessed that that conversation with the Bishop brought tears to his eyes! We were blown away.

Second miracle: a young woman we still have never met agreed yesterday to a baptismal date, which baptism would be for the YSA ward! The Elders of Holmes Lake told us about it last night, and we were shocked. She had told them that she watched the baptismal service of a friend and immediately felt the Spirit and wanted to be baptized herself. There's nothing more to it! She just asked to be baptized and is extremely excited to learn more. We will have the pleasure of meeting her tomorrow. That surprise was especially welcome because last week nobody in the ten areas in the zone had committed to baptism; but this week three people have committed to it! God is still moving this work along, despite any and all efforts against it. It will continue "until the great Jehovah shall say, The work is done."

We have also been teaching a young man named Liem for a long time. He knows a LOT about the Bible, and so has his strong convictions and biases, and sometimes our discussions become heated. We actually just talked with him this morning, though it's P-day (wow, look how consecrated I am 🤣), and it went quite poorly. He wanted to bash against certain of our beliefs on the nature of the Godhead and its Members. This past week I have been particularly bothered by such conflicts, as well as the constant debate over faith and works and baptism. It honestly hurts to see the world in such deep apostasy that I can explain something perfectly, expounding the meaning of the scriptures by the gift of "words of knowledge", showing them clearly why is is that a certain doctrine is sensible by the Bible, and yet they still choose to ram their heads against the brick wall of their own biases instead of taking the true path. This morning, he implored us to put our biases aside so we could talk reasonably about things, but he doesn't understand that without reading the Book of Mormon in the same way he reads the Bible, he will never comprehend our reasoning in anything. I wish that I could open his eyes and show him everything; "Yea, I would declare unto every soul, as with the voice of thunder, repentance and the plan of redemption, that they should repent and come unto our God, that there might not be more sorrow upon all the face of the earth. But behold, I am a man, and do sin in my wish; for I ought to be content with the things which the Lord hath allotted unto me" (Alma 29:2-3). That is my only sorrow right now, and my biggest frustration: not being able to convince them myself. It has been a hard lesson in the fact that if I don't teach with the Spirit, the teaching is not of God (D&C 50:17-18).

I am mostly just grateful that God forgives me my big head. It's never a conscious pride, but whenever I begin to contend to try to prove why we're right, I unconsciously try to assert dominance over God; the Spirit is grieved, and my priesthood power is lost, so I cannot convince anybody (D&C 121:37). But I can say again and again, with faith and certainty, that as I go to God and lay my weaknesses down, I continue to find forgiveness and grace. God is better to me that I can express, because He has saved me from a worse fate. I'm eternally overjoyed with His mercy amid all my error.

In short, my life is so good, and I am happy with what God has done with me. He is so good.

Love,

Elder Hill

Would I have done this better?

Family and friends,

This week was tiring, and yesterday was especially difficult. I have been getting poor sleep all week, and yesterday I found myself drained and drooping all day long. But somehow it still went by quickly, and I slept better last night. God is so kind to me.

There were mid-transfers this week, and a couple of people were switched around and two new trips were created, now making four; in our zone there are ten companionships but there are have 24 missionaries. So many!

Also, yesterday Andy went to Church for the first time! He even got to witness a man being set apart to a position after the meeting! That was a cool experience.

There's not much else I would like to share right now except my thoughts. Something very interesting hit me last night as Elder Harwood and I were talking - we can't change the past. Let me explain. So many people ask themselves, "Could I have done this better?" whereas a better question would probably be, "Would I have done this better?" The fascinating thing about that subtle change is that the answer to the first question is always "yes", while to the second it is always "no": because, did we really do it better? No? Then we wouldn't have done it better! You know better now how to do it, but you didn't know then, so you simply would not have done it better! Instead of worrying about what we could have done better in a given situation, we have to move on, because Christ already died to save us from the trouble of worrying about such things. That was a very calming thought, and I think it can be quite profound.

Just know, all you who will listen, that I know "He lives who once was dead", and that He really does care about all of us. I know it because He always upholds me in all I do.

With lots of love,

Elder Hill

Fotos: mi actitud de "chip-on-the-shoulder", mi reacción de "knee-jerk", nosotros despidiendo al Élder Self (en el centro, con el pelo negro y la máscara), y luego Élder Harwood en su estado natural.

Ever heard a cornea joke than this?

Family and friends,

About the subject line, I randomly got a cut in my eye last night that spontaneously appeared, without any apparent cause at all. Literally no cause at all. It just suddenly flared with pain, and that was that! It's a lot better this morning, but it's still bothersome.

But hey, on the topic of medical stuff, I got a blood test and an X-ray at a doctor appointment to check on some abdominal pain I had begun having around the 4th of July, and I'm completely healthy! I guess it was just a random anomaly, because the pain has since disappeared, and I've been free of it for over a week without any worsening. So I don't have appendicitis, just so y'all know. I'm fine.

This week was quite busy again, with many administrative meetings and many other errands that have taken up loads of time. But we have some plans for next week to be able to use our time better than we have been, so hopefully we will be able to contact the people we need to contact! Thank you all so much for your prayers and support in these weird times. I can feel your love and care.

Love,

Elder Hill

Foto: yo en el vestido medical

Lost in a Swamp

Family and friends,

This week was so good! We were grinding for the whole week, but then we got to Saturday. Presidente told us we could do a zone activity if it was approved by him (because, he said, nobody would receive us that day - turned out he was right: our only lesson fell through), and he approved our plan! (Well, it was the Sister Training Leaders who came up with the plan; we won't take credit for it.) It made for an amazing day!

We started out at 4:00 on a walk through the woods in the same wilderness park I had visited before, and it was a fun experience. Afterwards, we went to the Stake Center parking lot and all the Sisters cooked some burgers. It was novel seeing the women taking over the grill. XD We played with frisbees and footballs in the parking lot. Some other unknown people also came to the other side of the parking lot and set off some small fireworks, so we had some of that action though we weren't allowed to handle them ourselves. We even had root beer floats after dinner! It was one of the best zone activities I've ever had!

That night, we didn't sleep very well, because people are VERY into fireworks here. At about 11:00, we heard a firework go off nearby that shook the entire house - the kind that would be highly illegal in Arizona because it would burn down the whole Phoenix metropolitan area. It was definitely a cultural experience.

Then, on Sunday, we went to Church for the first time in forever! It was particularly interesting, as we did not sing at all, and those passing the Sacrament put on masks and gloves right before passing the bread AND before passing the water - they were required to change their gear after coming in close proximity with everyone else. We even met there a guy we're teaching, named Liem. He's 17 and REALLY smart. It's been fun meeting with him these weeks I've been here.

But today was different. We went frisbee golfing again, but we got to a hole that was a bit harder than the others: we started atop a hill overlooking about forty yards of reed-like plants, about eight feet tall, that would swallow any frisbee with no salvation possible; just beyond all that was the area of the hole. Everyone else was too afraid to go first, so I just sent it, chucking it hard and far. It went pleasingly far, but not quite pleasingly enough to please me as enoughly as I would have wanted to be pleased. It fell among the plants. Full of faith, I and another elder forged ahead down the hill and into the plants. Near the borders, there was a bit of standing water, but nothing much, so I just kept going. It started getting high enough to seep into my shoes, though, so I just gave up trying to be careful and plowed into the plants. I soon found myself ankle deep, and then calf deep, in quite smelly water and mud. And then, when I started to feel my hope fade a bit, I saw it! I absolutely screamed in in delight and in wonder at the miracle of having found it at all. It was quite the experience, and I'm glad I did that at least once, though I'll never do it again.

So, yeah, that was my miracle for the week.

Love,

Elder Hill

P.S. Annette, my mom told me about your comments and I'll answer them myself! I am serving in the Capital/YSA area, which includes those two wards. And yes, it definitely is the same zone! It's a very good zone, too, full of hard workers; which makes me happy because it is so much easier being a zone leader over a zone that works! As I write this I'm actually in the local Institute building with the Mahoney elders! One of them just got beaten in pool, and another of them is currently being beaten in pool. Wait, no! He actually just won by the other elder getting the 8 ball in the wrong hole! Pobrecito. XD

(Note from Lani:  Ben's cousin-once-removed Annette Fairbanks served in the Nebraska Omaha mission, and had asked if he is serving in the Mahoney area in Lincoln.)

Fotos: son de la zona, de las actividades en la playa, de las Hermanas cocinando, de mí y mi bandera. También hay un video de la pérdida de mi frisbee.