I will give unto you success (first full week in Pellegrini)

Friends, Romans, Countrymen,

This week has been insane. After we got back to Pellegrini from Mitre (which is where I was in San Rafael), we had a few days of normal work, which was basically the first "normal work" I've had because my companion is so incredibly busy, being the district and zone leader. And because of those callings, we're actually back in San Rafael today, too, in Balloffet. And now, because of all my time in the sunshine, I have developed a sunburn that outlines my glasses, which is weird because the sunlight streams down from above, but apparently the Sun doesn't care about geometry, so that's cool.

By the way, I forgot to mention last week that I encountered an Hermana Caldwell from Gilbert, who is currently in Tunuyán. I don't remember exactly who the Caldwells are, but I recognize the name, so I wanted to mention her. Oh, and there's also an Arizona here in Mendoza! I think it's somewhere near the eastern border of the province, but I don't remember.

And now for a brief section of puns. Firstly, I saw the movie Inside Out sitting on a desk today, and in Spanish it's called Intensa Mente, which is so funny to me because it means "Intense Mind", but "Intensamente" means "intensely", too. Then there's the fact that, by definition, everything I say is a blessing. The word for "blessing" is "bendición", which comes from "ben", meaning good, and "dición", which is from "decir", which means "to say". Thus, I am good by definition, and furthermore everything I say is a Bendición. Boom. There's also a funny pair of verbs that I want to mention: "casar" and "cazar". The first means "to marry", which is actually related to the word "casa", which means home; the latter means "to hunt". When I asked my maestros at the CCM about it, they jokingly said there was no difference. Yeah, I can definitely see that. Then there's also the fact that every tie I have is from one specific country, by some weird chance... They're from Tieland.

And I'm a dork.

Now for more details of my week. Basically, there's not much to say. We have given a handful of short lessons to various member families and one less-active family, but we don't have any new investigators except for the less-active family. That's wonderful, but it's not very exciting to say. We also discovered this week that our area of Pellegrini, which we had not had a map for until we printed one out ourselves this week, covers somewhere around 600-800 square kilometers, and also includes the cities of Bowen and Caramensa, which are 13 and 17 km away, respectively. Ouch. But hey, at least I'm working.

Now for the defining occurrence of the week: pride. Again. This whole week I've been feeling like my spirit was burning, kind of like friction; something was bothering me immensely, and I couldn't figure out what it was. It was really hurting after a couple of days, and I was praying to know what the problem was. Then one morning it came to me right after we left the pensión to go contacting: pride pride pride pride pride pride pride. I had thought before that I was humble enough to see my own pride and how far I needed to go, but apparently I was blind again. The problem was that I was trying to do this work my way, not His. I don't know how I never saw that before, but one way or another I see it now. The main problem, as far as I can tell, was that I was trying to make my daily schedule bend around me so I could study the things I wanted to study, like Jesus the Christ, the book of Abraham, awesome and sciency sections of the book of Doctrine and Covenants, etc. But it has finally worked its way into my heart that I can't do that any more; those are not bad things, but I now have something critically more important than they. This is the work of Salvation, and I was somehow trying to do God's plan my way; that obviously doesn't work. Thus, I still have such a long way to go in developing myself, and I hope I can always be teachable enough to be able to feel the rightness of such promptings and growths.

Another thing that is really interesting is that a part of my mind has still not accepted that other countries and languages and cultures exist. At times, I grow irritated because some irrational part of my subconscious can't accept that people actually speak other languages, and it all feels like some kind of enormous conspiracy or prank. Obviously, I don't really think that, but I don't think my subconscious fully believes that I'm not at home any more. That's a weird feeling.

Now, on a lighter note, I want to share the scripture that I referenced in the title, which has helped me be happier today: Alma 26:27. "Now when our hearts were depressed, and we were about to turn back, behold, the Lord comforted us, and said: Go amongst thy brethren, the Lamanites, and bear with patience thine afflictions, and I will give unto you success." There you go. Pure light in my soul. A promise of success.

I also want to say that I AM SO RIDICULOUSLY HAPPY THAT I HAVE A NEW NIECE. There are not powerful enough superlatives in English to express how happy I am that Olivia is here now. I already love her, and I've never even met her. Thank you so much for telling me about her nacimiento. Shirley, please let her know that I'm sending her all the love I can muster from this far away.

Guys, this mission is rough. I'm a gringo in the middle of Argentina, and I can't understand what anybody says, so my decent ability to speak is almost pointless right now. But I have never grown so much. I can't possibly imagine any way I could ever grow more efficiently than I am now, because I absolutely have to turn outside myself for help, because for the first time in my life I don't have the answers I need within myself. I really was pampered back home, what with everyone speaking the same language I spoke, and all. And speaking of the language, I have also found that my faith is severely lacking in the gift of interpretation of tongues by the Spirit, and I have realized that that is the reason I can't understand. I have seen miracles in how well I can speak, and I have seen the same in understanding, but the latter are in passing, like God is showing me what I can do if I trust more in Him. But I'm working on it, and I'm trying to step off that ledge of doubt.

I love the words of the song "Long Long Journey" by Enya, especially now, when the mission seems to me some looming, extremely long doom ahead of me. "Long, long journey through the darkness; long, long way to go. But what are miles across the ocean to the heart that's coming home?" I feel like I'm finally coming home to myself, and it took me moving to the other side of the world to do it. And besides that, two years will seriously pass is the blink of an eye, and I can even see that now; I have already completed nearly two months of my mission, and that's a twelfth! I'll be home before any of us know it. And, at this rate, what with my confused subconscious, perhaps I won't even realize I ever left. Now, THAT would be weird.

"Half a world away, with dirt on my shoes, the shadows find me there and bring the rain, and they leave my soul bruised. Broken and alone, heaven clouds over, and from behind I hear a song that reminds me of [Home]: I'll carry your burden, son, and take away all your fears. When you look up and see the light, you know I'll be here. When your knees can't hold you up, and your heart drowns in tears, then you'll look up and see the light; you know I'll be right here." - "The Woman Who Holds the World" by Our Future Selves (lyrics by Robert Hill).

Photos:

279: Hermanas en mi CCM distrito

310: Avion en nuestro viaje a Mendoza

327: Cerro de Gloria in Mendoza, my first day there

330: También

337: Yo y Élder Avila

340: Con la wacha

361: Mi pensión

365: Para que sepa, Madre, si quieres saber

366: Pensión otra vez

383: Jugando fútbol hoy

Bienvenidos a Argentina, freaking GRINGO! (First few days in Argentina)

Friends, Romans, Countrymen,

By the way, I discovered that some Spanish-speakers actually do use the word "freaking", my companion being among them. I find that really funny.

This past week has been a complete mess. I took flights from Mexico to Lima, then to Buenos Aires, then to Mendoza, and I had such a headache after all that. It was a total of 27 hours en route, with about 13 of those hours being physically in the air. With no sleep. That was really rough. But we arrived and had dinner with President Panzacchi and his wife, then slept in a hotel for the night. The next day was orientation and we received our companions. My companion is Elder Avila; he's from ECUADOR, Dad! He also talks naturally slowly, so I can understand him all the time except when he uses words I don't know, which is getting rarer, now. We spent the night with the missionaries who work in the mission offices. I slept with a pillow that someone put a shirt on as a pillowcase. The other elderes called it a wacha, which is slang for an illegitimately-born girl (from what I'm told). So, uh... yeah.

Anyway, the next morning, we departed in the morning on a colectivo (which is the local word for "autobus", which in English is exactly what it looks like) for a couple of hours. We stopped in Tunuyàn for a few hours, then proceeded on to Pellegrini, which is my new area in a city called Alvear. So it took the entirety of four days for me to get to my area from Mexico. That was WAY longer than I had expected. But I'm here now, so I'm okay. (Well, I'm not there right now, but I'll get to that.)

Elder Avila is a wonderful trainer! He is so energetic en la obra misional, and I am learning a lot from him. Especially the fact that he speaks no significant amount of English helps me, because it has made my ability to communicate explode so much faster than it did at the CCM. Seriously, now that I'm in the real world, I truly believe that the Mexico CCM is not Mexico, but instead just a section of the US that happens to be in the middle of Mexico City. We were babied. Perhaps that's what we needed, but it was still nothing like Pellegrini. Elder Avila has been a great help, and I'm so glad I have him as my companion.

As for the area, our section of Alvear is mostly more rural, but there are more city-like areas in the central parts of the city. Surrounding our pensiòn (which is our apartment) are more rural parts, with dirt roads and very small, spread-out houses. Neither of us had ever been in Pellegrini before, so basically all of our time thus far has been spent getting to know the area, which is difficult because it's really big and we have no map. And the capilla (sorry, chapel) is about fifteen minutes away by car. Which we don't have. And I still don't know the way, anyway. We also don't know the addresses of any members, and wouldn't be able to find them if we DID have the addresses. It's very frustrating. We live right behind the house of the branch president, but he doesn't have a map, either. This will be a rough transfer, I think, but I'm still excited!

Granted, I also still have no idea what many of the people here are saying whenever they try to talk to me. Especially because most of what they say to me are questions, which are so much harder to understand than normal conversation, because every part of the sentence is important, whereas in conversation I can often get a general idea of the meaning.

This past Sunday I shared my testimony in Sacrament meeting, talking about how the reason I'm here, a gringo in the center of Argentina, is to share the gospel I know to be true. I felt the Spirit so strongly while saying it, and it made me happy. It also seemed to touch the 25 or so members in the branch. I have actually been told multiple times by various people that my Spanish is very good, and that lifts my spirits. Granted, it's probably like in English, where someone can say something recognizable and we praise them as perfect. I think I am actually decently good at it, though, at least considering my huge lack of experience. I can honestly say that the gift of tongues has been with me ever since I got to Argentina, because I have been able to speak sufficiently. It's the gift of interpretation of tongues that I'm seeking most right now, because all those people weren't joking when they said that Argentine Spanish is the fastest there is. And they leave out half the letters. That's not helpful.

Okay, I don't have much time left, so I'll make the rest of this brief. We traveled back to Mendoza on Sunday evening and then went to the conference the next afternoon with Elder Renlund. We got to take a picture with him, as a group, and even individually, as we shook his hand! I don't know where those pictures are right now, but I'll keep y'all posted on that. Anyway, I am now in San Rafael with Elder Vazquez on splits because Elder Avila needed to stay an extra day for some meeting. Oh, did I mention that he is both the district leader AND the zone leader? He's insane. And awesome. So I'm here for my first P-day, and having a weird time because I have no idea what's going on half the time because Elder Vazquez is an Argentine so I can't understand him, either. But I'm alive and surviving.

Regarding the calls each week, we have been told that they are in addition to our email time, so these emails will not cease. I believe those will be allowed starting next week.

Regarding Jacob's talk on the miracles, I learned a lot of really awesome stuff about those, especially the one about the woman touching His robe, in the book Jesus the Christ. I highly recommend it; it's a wonderful read. Jacob, I think you would love it as I do. It's so simple and concise.

I don't have any pictures to share this time around because my camera is in Mendoza with Elder Avila due to a miscommunication, along with basically everything I brought for this conference trip except my books. Hey, at least I can read the Book of Mormon in Spanish; who needs clean clothes, anyway? (But Elder Vazquez offered me some of his clothing to use while I'm here, so I'll be okay.)

I'm officially out of time, so I'll stop here.

Con amor, de Argentina,

Elder Hill

New arrivals in Mendoza

This was on Facebook in the Mendoza Missionary Families group.  Elder Hill is in the back row, just to the viewer's right of the center of the folding doors.

I'm here! (First email from Mendoza)

This is just a check-in email, to let y'all know that I am alive and well in Mendoza. Decently stressed because I can't understand anything that anyone ever says to me until about the third or fourth time, but I'm alive, and I guess that's sufficient for now.

My new P-days will be on Mondays, and I presume that will be the case for basically the rest of eternity, but I'll fill y'all in on details next Tuesday, because this coming week is one of the rare exceptions. Elder Renlund will be addressing the missionaries of Mendoza next Monday, so our P-day is on Tuesday.

I am officially out of time, so I end with my love. God be with you all.

- Elder Hill

Two Temple Trips! (Last week in the CCM)

Hijos de Dios,

I made a pun yesterday for which I was threatened with death (which means I was successful). If I were to take care of dead bodies very carefully, with precise measurements and such, would that make me a mathemortician? I dare you to try to assassinate me for that; I'm not even on the same continent as you are.  Ha.  Soy el ganador.

I also want to share something very important to understand in Spanish: markings are very important. Take this sentence for example: Mi papa tiene 47 anos. What does that mean? "My father is 47 years old"? No. If I had wanted to write that, I would have written, "Mi papá tiene 47 años." Yes, there is a difference. A HUGE one. And what does the original sentence mean? "My potato has 47 anuses." Sí, en serio. Please be careful with markings when writing Spanish.

I heard about the event in Phoenix with President Nelson and Elder Oaks, and that's so cool! But I can one-up it, I think. Elder Cook is coming to speak to us this evening at the CCM at 4:00! Phoenix will have two prophets and an audience of 70K people, but we get one prophet and an audience of 500. Do the math. We get the better deal. (I know spiritual edification doesn't work in fractions like that. Leave me alone. XD)

By the way, I actually received my flight plans this week, and I will be leaving on Monday the 11th, not Tuesday. I will fly with all of the Argentina missionaries to Lima, and from there to Buenos Aires, arriving at about 0430 on Tuesday the 12th. That is the extent of the travel info I was given. I might take another flight to Mendoza from there, but since it's not listed in my flight plan I assume I'm in for a ten-hour bus ride. I'll fill y'all in next P-day, whenever that is.

As I mentioned in my previous letter, I had the opportunity to go to the Mexico City Temple last P-day to participate in an Endowment session. It was beautiful, and I had a wonderful experience. While in the Celestial room, I knelt and prayed (because there was no room to sit, with the small, crowded room) and I felt an arm around my shoulders, and the feeling that I have done well, so far. Oh, Heavens (literally), I needed to hear that. This week we were invited to attend the Temple again, and we decided to accept, even though it is such an enormous time commitment; there is nothing better we could have used this last CCM P-day for. This time, one thing was stuck in my head for the entire time. It's a set of lyrics from "Little Wonders" by Rob Thomas that says, "Time falls away, but these small hours, these little wonders, still remain." Though time is meaningless in Heaven, my hours, my experiences here will last the entirety of that transcendent Eternity. That song very quickly became my theme song here at the CCM, and I truly think that it was inspired by the Spirit, because it seems to touch everyone so powerfully, every time. "Let it go. Let it roll right off your shoulders; don't you know the hardest part is over?" Even though I'm certain the hardest part of my mission is not over, every day there is something or other that reaches its peak difficulty, and thus that song is applicable every day. I even wrote my own verse to it, but I'll share it some other time; I want to write about other things for now.

I found an amazing quote from Ezra T. Benson in Predicad Mi Evangelio this week. “Our main task is to declare the gospel and do it effectively. We are not obligated to answer every objection. Every man eventually is backed up to the wall of faith, and there he must make his stand.” That is really good. I'm glad it's in PME, because that means I can have it with me whenever I want it over the next two years.

Regarding spiritual learning, I have never felt more in tune with the Spirit than I am here, and that's saying a lot, because I have had huge spiritual blasts before my mission. This is better. I know the scriptures like an old friend, and I am learning to wield them like the sword of truth that they are. Seriously, I want to write a book because of it, even though I'm not anything near an author at heart. It's that powerful. It is also just hitting me at last how powerful the Atonement of Christ is, and even how much sense it makes. Without it taking care of all evil, including pain, sickness, and all of the millions of forms of shortcomings, there would be justice left unserved, and God would destroy the world out of that necessity of pure justice. Therefore, the Atonement must be perfectly infinite and all-encompassing, so that justice can be served, with all forms of pain poured out on the head of One. I'm tearing up just writing that. Why can no one see it? The Atonement of Jesus Christ is the ultimate sacrifice to end all sacrifice, pain, and challenge. All that ever was, is, or could be wrong in the world is made right through the Passion and the Blood. Christ has raised us out of darkness; He has bought our souls for God.  (Note from Ben's mother:  Ben sang "I have bought your soul for God" as the Bishop in Les Miserables.)

This church is the only living church on the earth, and I know it. That is one point of my belief where it is steadily slipping past the wall, out of the realm of faith and into the realm of knowledge, which is the glory of God (DyC 93:36). I suppose I'll need that glory to be able to be a representative of a Deity for the next two years, "in a manner that thereby the people might know in what manner to look forward to his Son for redemption" (Alma 13:2).

I am so ridiculously excited to go share the Spirit with the Argentines.

Love (for the last time from Mexico),

Elder Hill

Fotografías:

• Yo mismo, enfrente del Templo, en la semana pasada.
• El distrito, lo mismo dia.
• Yo mismo.
• Yo y Elder Ricks con un mensaje en el CCM.
• Lo mismo, pero afuera del Templo, hoy.
• Un patio nuevo en el CCM; es muy hermoso.
• Lo mismo, pero más cerca. I also want to mention my tie clip; I got it today from a store right next to the Temple, and I got that one in particular because it reminded me of the Atoning blood of Christ (perhaps it´s hard to see, but it really is a blood red). Now, I will have that wonderful reminder every day when I don my corbata.

1 Corintios 13 (in Mexico CCM)

Family, friends, hermanos en Cristo,

This past Tuesday, something amazing happened: we got to see an internationally-broadcast devotional for MTCs in which Elder Holland spoke! He said so many awesome things, and one of my favorites was when he talked about following exactly the rules in the missionary handbook, when he said, "Please don't feel obligated, at age 18, to reinvent this wheel." He also said that we have already been given everything, so obedience is the least we can give in return. It was a wonderful devotional, and the first one where I didn't sleep at all (I have sleep problems, remember).

Ever since I got here, I have been fascinated by the fact that I can see Venus and Mars in the mornings. It's also been fascinating that, when I got here, Venus was directly above Marte in the sky, but even during my short stay they have rotated so that now Venus is to the lower-left of Marte. It's so beautiful. But, yestermorn, a miracle occurred: the planets aligned. I just walked outside and looked up at the planets, and I knew that Luna would be there too, but I got a view more miraculous, perfect, and wonderful than I have ever seen with my own eyes in the sky. Venus aligned in a near-perfectly straight line with Luna and Marte, and it was breathtaking. (No, las planetas no estaban respirando; it's a figure of speech.) I took a picture of it and attached it below. Just look at it and try to imagine the real thing, because my camera is not good enough to capture it well. Beautiful.

Now I get to the point of the title I gave this letter, 1 Corintios 13. That has really hit me hard this week, as Elder Ricks and I have been torn apart a couple of times by one of our maestros. He firmly told us that we were not preparing well enough for our simulated lessons, and I know he's hard on us because he knows we legitimately can do better, but it still hurts being humbled for the twentieth day in a row. Welcome to the CCM, Elder Hill. It was very good to hear honesty, though. I would have hated running into that brick wall right as I get into the field and I'm failing with real people. I'm glad I'm failing in a controlled environment, at least. In that chapter of Corinthians, Paul says:
"Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing."

That's really rough. But I have noticed that I do need to develop more love for the people, and according to this scripture that is the key to being able to teach with power. I keep being humbled every day by my stupid blunders, so I don't think that's my issue. I just need to love, and truly care for the people. Even the Spirit will bring no benefit if I don't care about the people, and the tongue of angels will fail me without such care. If I have not charity, all my eloquence (which, mind you, I don't even have, because this is Spanish) will be worth nothing, and I will be as a sounding brass or a tinkling cymbal, just making noise and hoping for the deaf to hear it. I'm still praying for humility ever day, but now I'm also praying for charity, because I am nothing without that. Even Elder Holland said something very similar. He told us to study John 15:5, which says, "I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing." Nothing. Somehow, that's both depressing and comforting at the same time. (Moses 1:10: "and he said unto himself: Now, for this cause I know that man is nothing, which thing I never had supposed.") I have a heaping long way to go.

On a similar point, I want to say something about humility. I keep hearing people say that you should be careful praying for humility because you might be given something extremely painful to humble you. That. Is. Stupid. Especially humility, of all things, we MUST pray for, because even if we have charity but not humility, we are STILL nothing. I wish I had seen this sooner, because it's a bit late to be coming to that conclusion right now. Better late than never, though. I want to be praying for humility for the rest of my life, because if I am stabbed through the heart and brought to my knees, what is wrong with that? Nothing will ever be sent my way that I cannot handle in one way or another, so what is there to fear? Don't ever shrink from praying for blessings, especially attributes of Christ, just because you think it will hurt to receive it. That's life. Get over it. Becoming your perfect self will be the most painful thing you will ever experience, but also the most rewarding, by far. So pray for humility always. There may be pain, but there is nothing bad that can come from such prayers. "Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil" (Psalm 23:4).

By the way, I had to email early today because we're going to the Temple today!!!! We were just informed at the beginning of the week, so that's why I haven't mentioned it before. But I am so excited! I'm excited to see what changes have been made since I went last, and I'm also excited to visit my first Temple outside the US, and participate in an Endowment session for the first time outside of the Gilbert Temple. I am SO excited!

Anyway, that's about it. My Spanish is stunning me, because the gift of tongues is really real, and I can almost say everything I would ever need in everyday life, and I'm approaching fluency already! This is a miraculous work, and it will not be stopped by some petty language barrier.

Love,

Elder Hill

Fotografías:

Élderes Davis (arriba) y Christensen (debajo)

Elder Ricks (¿Necesito yo decir más?)

Mi fotografía mala del milagro