They Shall Narrowly Look Upon Thee (Cementista)

Friends and family, gringos all,

One of the hermanas asked me this week if I am from Venezuela. Gosh, that made me feel good about myself, a pure-blooded gringo.

Regarding that situation I mentioned last week, something happened that is wonderful: ¡the husband attended Church! We didn't invite him specifically, but he came, and he had a huge, legitimate smile on his face. He still seems unsure about all of it, but he is willing to listen to the lessons that we teach, so we'll see where that goes. That was a miracle for us.

This week was rough for me, because it's very hard a veces to feel worthy of such a hugely important work as the salvation of the souls of all mankind. That has weighed on my mind, and every small moment of idleness hurts because I know I could use it better, but I don't have the strength of will to change it. But then, on a day that was the hardest, I prayed for help and guidance, and a scripture came hazily to my mind. I looked it up by keywords in the Topical Guide (seriously, thank God for that wonderfully powerful index - ¡que lastima que no se tiene eso en español!), and found it in DyC 31:5. "Therefore, thrust in your sickle with all your soul, and your sins are forgiven you". That is such a powerful scripture, and I could feel it vibrate throughout my entire soul. Those words, though addressed in that section to someone else, were also pointed via God's omniscience straight to me, and I could hear His voice in it. It is absolutamente asombroso to think that Christ knew my heart so well even before my life began that He was able to say the exact words that He knew would reach me in the Spirit in the moment I needed it most. I am tearing up right now thinking of the awesome power of such a Being that is so powerful that He sets miracles in motion centuries before their realization. His foresight is so impeccable that He set forces in motion from the Grand Beginning that would all converge on me, just for me. "Oh, it is wonderful, wonderful to me."

Another thing that has occurred to me this week is how foolish I was to even think of postponing my mission to have short a period of rest before life starts crashing down again. Why is that foolish? Because this work of salvation IS the rest I have been seeking. That is what I did not have in high school, that I have ALWAYS lacked. God's way is so much better than mine, and that was my problem: I never tried to follow His. Ever since I started high school, I have tried to do everything myself, and I succeeded, but I put myself through so much unnecessary suffering. For that reason, I wanted rest in the first place, and then I ended up finding it ultimately in exactly the place where I knew to look all along, but didn't. It reminds me of what someone said in my mission preparation class months ago, that he was too afraid for a long time to ask God if he should serve a mission, because he already knew what the answer would be. Likewise, I have wandered so long in darkness, not asking to See because I was afraid of what would be required of me. But now my eyes are opened to an eternity that I could never have imagined in all my best dreams combined. And now I am ordained to a position that gives me the authority to work in the long-foretold gathering of Israel, and there is nowhere I would rather be. I have difficult days, but now I am beginning to see the devil for what he is, and, more especially, for what he is not. It reminds me of the scripture in Isaiah 14:12,16-17:

"How art thou fallen from heaven, O Lucifer, son of the morning! how art thou cut down to the ground, which didst weaken the nations!... They that see thee shall narrowly look upon thee, and consider thee, saying, Is this the man that made the earth to tremble, that did shake kingdoms; that made the world as a wilderness, and destroyed the cities thereof?"

And God is so good. "Fear not: for they that be with us are more than they that be with them" (2 Kings 6:16).

This is my invitation to all of you: join the real forces of God and ask Him in complete sincerity to know His will. I am nowhere near perfect in this, but I am beginning to see, and that is a step in the right direction. Another thing I have learned in this mission is the power of the member-missionaries - I have seen the beautiful vision of the power of the Saints, and it is greater than the full-time missionaries have. Together, with sixteen millions of members, we could be the grandest army the world has ever seen - not an army to bring wars and contentions, but to bring the Good News to the world.

"We’ll go to the poor, like our Captain of old,
And visit the weary, the hungry, and cold;
We’ll cheer up their hearts with the news that he bore
And point them to Zion and life evermore" ("Ye Elders of Israel").

With so much love, your friend in the south,

Elder Hill

Another Companion (in Cementista)

Gringos,

A couple more funny things first. Regarding the language, I just realized this week that command form of verbs can be confusing; the command "callate" means "quiet yourself (familiar)", and "cayase" means "fall yourself (formal)" (it makes more sense in Spanish, I promise), but the only difference between the two in speaking is the "te/se". Great. That's fun.

It's also funny when we get to talking with someone and they say, "Soy ateo, gracias a Dios", which means, "I'm an atheist, thanks to God." Oh. Okay. Good for you, I guess. Then there was another experience we had in which we talked with a random woman who started teaching US what the Book of Mormon is, saying that an angel told Joseph Smith to write a book about his life and call it the Book of Mormon. Great. I'm glad I know the truth now. When we finally parted after a solid fifteen minutes of her not listening to anything we were saying, she still had a countenance that showed that she clearly believed she had won - that she had won an argument that never happened, because she wasn't listening. That's fine; I didn't want to argue, anyway.

Also, Jacob, I heard of an elder whose name you'd be jealous of: Kobe Juan Kenobi Gubernick. I mean, the last name is a mouthful, but the first three names remind me instantly and incessantly of you.

I had an interesting experience yesterday, and now I come to the point of the title of this email. We had lunch with a family in which the mother is a member and the father is not, despite having talked with missionaries multiple times before. That's fine; there's absolutely no problem with that for us. The lunch was wonderful, and afterwards we took advantage of the togetherness of the family to teach a bit about the Restoration of the Gospel and the Church of Jesus Christ. After our teaching, we asked the mother to share her thoughts on how she had come to know that these things are true, and she gave a good response. But then she continued on to talk about how a couple days ago she had finally realized that her husband would never join the Church, and that he was holding her back from an eternal family, which is all she has ever wanted. She even went on to declare boldly that if he didn't accept the Gospel she would look for another companion who would. Oof. All this was done in the presence of him, her daughters, and us. The entire time she was explaining, I could only think, "How is this my problem??" It's not that I didn't feel for her situation, but I felt utterly incompetent to help. She also explained that he didn't want to join the Church because the members are hypocrites; in reality, that is perfectly true. We preach a perfect Gospel, and yet do not keep it, which is verbatim the definition of hypocrisy. But, as we explained to him (extremely carefully and lovingly, because that really wasn't our field of expertise nor authority) that Jesus did not establish His Church nor minister for the righteous ones, but instead for those who are sick and sinners. Honestly, I am astounded at the tranquility and humility of the husband, because not once did he become angry or even anything other than peaceful. But, goodness, I was not comfortable there, for obvious reasons. That's the short version of a discussion that lasted ninety minutes, and I don't care to say more. We contributed appropriately and decently well, and we left on cheerful terms with the both of them, and everything was fine, but it looks like I have some serious praying to do for their welfare.

Now I want to mention something of which I have been thinking a lot recently: faith and works. Just about all I want to say is said in James 2, multiple times, that "faith without works is dead", and that is what I want to emphasize. Especially in these last days, it is not sufficient only to have faith in a dying world; we have to prove our faith with works so that there are actual fruits of our faith. Christ said, "by their fruits ye shall know them", and there are no fruits of faith without works of service. Faith is not enough to save us, and it never will be; it takes action in faith to bring the saving power of grace. And that is my spiritual thought and testimony for today.

Con amor,

Elder Hill

P.S. Honestly, after writing about that contentious experience, I feel like something is off in this letter, but I can't tell what to do to fix it. It will probably come to me later, when I have no access to a computer, so I'll just leave this as a declaration that this letter is unfinished in some way.

Fotos:

868: Fútbol con el Barrio

865: Más fútbol

809: Que dramático

781: Calle "Estado de Israel" - Rosalie, estoy pensando de ti

The Reason (in Cementista)

Friends and family,

That picture with the Bushmans makes me incredibly happy, and that black hole image makes me giddy. Thank you very much for the letter!

A couple more funny things. One day I saw a man sweeping a balcony that was tiny and quite high, and I mentioned it to Elder Mazzeo, saying, "él estaba barriendo allí", but he heard "pariendo", which has basically the same pronunciation but means "birthing", not "sweeping". Isn't Spanish great? Also, Elder Mazzeo says two phrases that are really funny, but are only funny in Spanish. The first is, "No es lo mismo 'me baño en el río' que 'me río en el baño'", which means, "'I bathe in the river' is not the same as 'I laugh in the bath'". The second is, "No es lo mismo 'el Cura tiene SIDA' que 'SIDA tiene cura'", which means, "'The priest has AIDS' is not the same as 'AIDS has a cure'". I think it's wonderful that puns can be so powerful in Spanish. I love it.

Speaking of AIDS. We ran into two borrachos (drunkards) in the same morning (emphasis on the morning), which was interesting. The first one chased after us after we ignored him, running on his bare feet to put his long, unkempt, caveman hair much closer than I wanted. He demanded of us why we wouldn't give him the word of God when he asked for it (which he hadn't), but when we offered him a pamphlet he refused and just awkwardly wandered away. The second we encountered on the same walk, only a couple hundred meters (those are kinda like yards, you gringos) further. He was seated on a curb with a backpack, and was not noticably drunk from a distance, so we heeded his summons only to hear his sop story about being kicked out of his girlfriend's house and also having AIDS - that's where that comes back in - for which he had a huge bag of medications. Basically, we just left a pamphlet with him, read Alma 7:11-12 and testified of the power of Christ to relieve his suffering, and left. Overall, that was just a weird start to my day.

Oh, and Rosalie, when Elder Mazzeo saw your picture and heard you're unmarried, he started making plans. So you have another backup in case your rich Sheik falls through. Just so you know.

The last experience I want to mention this week is something that happened on Saturday that was more wonderful than expected. There was a baptism of a young boy of eight years from a less-active family, but for it to count toward the mission in the numbers he would have to have been nine years old, so it was a ward baptism. That's great and all, but investigators are more exciting. But it became more interesting with the person who baptized him: Brandon is a Priest, seventeen years old, who had not gone to church for a full year. He was selected to perform the baptism by the youth president of the ward, and it was approved by the Bishop, so thus it was. He studied the words of the ordinance beforehand, and ended up pulling it off flawlessly (despite never having done that before), which I was very proud of, and he looked so happy to be there. And this is where the miracle starts. Afterwards, Elder Mazzeo was talking with him and said, "you know it's not a coincidence that you were chosen to baptize him, right? You need to come back to church", etc., to which Brandon actually replied, "yeah, I was just thinking about that." He proceeded to say that because of that experience he now wants to serve a mission and especially to go to church to prepare himself for that. My mind is completely blown by that! Just a simple - and, frankly, weird - choice of baptizer led to a huge change in the heart of the same, that could eventually lead to many others joining the fold of the Good Shepherd. That is a witness to me that God is really guiding this work, because it is His truth in the Earth, and His true Church, established again by His hand. Those white clothes Brandon used for the baptism were actually mine, and that was their first use in a baptism; I cannot imagine a better first use than that, because it could be that that one even might lead to a cascade of goodness and of knowledge of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. That is so beautiful to me.

I also would like totalk a bit about that scripture I mentioned earlier, Alma 7:11-12. The text of it says the following:
And he shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people. And he will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death which bind his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succorhis people according to their infirmities.

So many people do not understand the sacrifice of Christ as they should; many people think that He only overcame death and sin, but that His sacrifice does not meet the ends of other forms of suffering. But I am here to tell all who will listen that if that were true, God would be a liar. Such a redeeming sacrifice as that cannot ever be complete without also paying for every result of the fall of Adam and Eve, which includes all things in which we sin, all things we suffer resulting from sins of others, and all infirmity and weakness (which are results of the Fall just as is death). All of those things are the power of the devil, and if anyone ever says that Christ did not overcome all sufferings of every form depreciates the power of God, and literally turns Satan into the winner. Christ won the entire battle Himself, and if any of Satan's effect is left free, unmet by God's power, Satan wins, and literally everyone that has ever existed is lost to perdition, cast out into the pit by eternal justice. Thus, God becomes a liar, as He is not omnipotent as He said; and as He ceases to be God, all of reality literally unravels, the materials of this universe no longer knowing Whom to obey, and all spirits falling away into a real limbo, which is an actual hell. Do you see why it was so important that Christ pay for our pains, too? It seems such a small thing to us, but it has eternal consequences that are more grand than we can comprehend. I testify that the Atonement of Jesus Christ has no bounds, and it covers every sin, death, pain, sickness, weakness, and pain; if not... we would never have had a chance to return to Him in the first place, and He would be made a liar anew. It is not so, and I know that God lives, and that He is infinite in His power to spare us by way of the power of His Son; the justice of God is so beautifully met and matched by the power of grace, and I know it is boundless.

All this has revolutionized my life. It makes me think of the song The Reason, which says, "I found a reason for me to change who I used to be, a reason to start over new; and the reason is You." I am so grateful for the kindness God has shown me in giving me more understanding of His Gospel, because there is nothing in this universe more important to me. And if you know me and my adoration of the mysteries of Creation, you know that that is the highest praise that I personally can give.

With eternal love and everlasting awe,

   Your friend in Argentina,

Elder Hill

Fotos:

674: Mi mamá (no me pregunten, por favor)

673: "Vi una columna de luz..."

670: Mi gemelo

669: Elder Diaz

685: Una araña grande

701: Nosotros con Brandon y Santino (el niño que se bautizó)

760: Que dramático

733: Un fuego de gas cerca de nuestra pensión (como 4m x 4m x 8m)

691: Estoy borracho

698: Perrito con ojos interesantes y incomunes

¡¡¡CONFERENCIA!!! (in Cementista)

Friends and family,

This week has been a roller-coaster. Firstly, I want to get the funny things out of the way. I figured out a pun (of which I've already made a few in Spanish, which I'm very proud of): Por medio de la Expiación de Cristo, podemos ser limpios de nuestros pescados. "Pescados" is in place of the word "pecados". Just put it into Google Translate; I'm too lazy to explain the whole thing. It's hilarious, I promise. There's also a little boy we're teaching named Santino who will be baptized when he turns 8 this week. I was teaching some principle about the restoration of the Gospel, and then Elder Mazzeo asked him if he understood what I said, and he replied, "Uhhh, no entendí porque él estaba hablando en un otro idioma," which means "I didn't understand because he was speaking another language." We died laughing. A similar thing happened when we were beginning a lesson with a woman we had just contacted who had allowed us in for a lesson. Elder Mazzeo asked who she wanted to say the opening prayer, and she said (in Spanish), "Not him (pointing to me), because I don't understand English very well." We laughed and explained that I can speak Spanish too. Great times. Esas son las cosas que pasan cuando pasen las cosas.

Conference was wonderful, and I found immense value in every discourse I heard. It was all like one enormous trove of gold that I had chanced upon, and I received so much joy because of it. Elder Mazzeo, however, did not have such a great time. He awoke very late on Saturday morning, which is basically fine because the first session starts at 1300 here, but it wasn't fine when he proceeded to vomit mucus and blood. I don't know much about medical themes, but I know enough to discern that that really isn't good. We contacted the mission president's wife (the medical contact of the mission) and got a bit of advice, then went off to Conference in the Stake Center in Mendoza Centro. We saw the second half of the first session, but he felt worse in between sessions and ended up curled up in pain on the floor of a classroom throughout the entire second session, which naturally meant I missed that session as well. But hey, I got some nice scripture reading in, so it wasn't all bad. He felt better after that session and was able to watch the Priesthood session at 2100 (yes, it really does happen that late; it's rough). He seems to be okay now, or at least almost okay, so I think that whatever it was is passing, and we're not too worried about it for now. But yes, Conference was immensely valuable for me, and I am so glad I got to watch what I did. I'll read the other discourses later.

Now I want to mention a family that we found that was baptized but they have not attended Church in decades, ever since right after their baptisms. We discovered that the father of the family passed away only two months ago, so we led a lesson on the Plan of Salvation. They accepted it well, but later in the lesson the miracles began. We were only teaching the mother and her daughter (about 60 and 40, respectively), but it was so incredibly powerful. We talked about baptisms for the dead and how it rounds out God's plan in perfect justice, allowing everyone to know about the Gospel before being judged by its law. From there we ended up talking about Temples and the sealing that can be done there to make our family eternal, just like how we are the eternal family of God. You have to understand here that both of those topics, baptisms for the dead and temple sealings, are rare to be mentioned in the first lesson. As I was describing the spirit world and started talking about the work of the missionaries there making baptisms for the dead possible, I was thinking in my head, "What am I doing? This isn't normal." But what followed was one of the greatest miracles I have seen on my mission in another person. As we spoke of those things, the Spirit flodded the room, despite the little kids running around and the other daughter smoking on the other side of the room. And then Elder Mazzeo asked the mother if she wanted to follow the covenant path to be sealed in the Temple to her husband, and she said she does want that, and I could feel a deep desire in her. Who am I to judge the miracles of God and stratify them by their miraculousness? All miracles are equally abnormal and marvelous; but to my finite mind, that was the greatest show of power that I have seen in an investigator. They were so beautifully prepared to hear the message we shared, and I have high hopes for them. I am seriously, unendingly grateful for that miracle, for miracle it is. By definition, I will not get a baptism out of that family, because they were already baptized, but I honestly could not possibly care less. I saw the hand of God bring the Gospel straight into their softened hearts, and I cannot deny His work is directed by Him personally, and the salvation of their souls is infinitely, infinitely more important than a number that I could brag about. I'll make a promise to you right now: once I get home, I will not tell you how many baptisms I had, because that means zilch to me. To give a number to the work of God would be to depreciate the glory of His infinite mercy to these people. That is my thought about that; I am trying to be more respectful of the things that are sacred, and the glorious work of the Lord is sacred; and as for these people, every one of them individually is incomprehensibly more important even than that. The missionary work across the world is special, yes, but these are literal children of the Most High, and that is something that an abstraction like missionary work cannot ever claim. That is why I want to be a missionary for the rest of my life; I will continue a good work and save actual souls of actual people, always seeking those who have been prepared to hear the good news of the Gospel.

That is my message this week, and I want you all to know at the last that I love you all immensely. Thank you for your continued support from all the way over there.

Con amor eterno de Argentina,

Elder Hill

Fotos:

619: It's me, el "cerro blanco".

639: Last P-day, playing pool - Élderes Johnson y Hill (left and right, respectively) on the right side. Elder Mazzeo and I won.

650: Movie night with the boys, watching the Priesthood session of Conference.

He to whom much is forgiven (in Cementista)

Friends and family,

For a bit more detail on my situation in my new area, I am in Cementista, which is a sketchy suburb of Mendoza City itself, and I love the area, despite the fact that Cementista is enormous and we go by foot. The capilla is a half-hour away by foot. Oof. But it's a great time, and I am still growing so much here. Elder Mazzeo is great too, and I have learned more of the language from him, which is a definite benefit of being with an Argentino. As for the situation with packages, I am not certain how those would work, because I would still have to go by bus for over an hour to the mission offices in Godoy Cruz; thus, I really don't know what to tell you. I suppose it's possible, but I don't know. Also, I found out this week that the Temple land is in my area! I don't know yet exactly where, but the Temple will be in MY AREA!!! I can't explain how excited I am for that.

We had an awesome experience this week with a man who hasn't attended church in a long time. We were reading in 3 Nefi 18 around verse 16, which says that we need to follow the example of Jesus and pray in churches (and, in extension by the context of our lesson, it says that he needs to attend church again). When he read that, he told us that he felt as though Jesus, whose words those are in that verse, was talking directly to him, and he knew instantly that he needs to attend church again. That was miraculous, and his faith is so powerful. I felt the Spirit radiating from him. Another wonderful time was when we were talking with a man who is not a member, but who is interested to hear our message. He listened more attentively that just about any other person I have ever seen in any circumstance, and I could see the Spirit start to fill his countenance as we talked about the Restoration of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. We gave him a copy of the Book of Mormon, and he said he will read it, and also that he will do it joyfully because he loves reading books like that. He has a stunningly clear understanding of how to understand things by the Spirit and the power of God, and I am impressed by his desire to learn.

Two more experiences were particularly notable: one of the investigadoras was baptized this past Friday by her fiancé, which was so joyous - she is so incredibly happy, and is especially excited to go to the Temple. The other instance was when we taught the lesson on the Restoration again, and the two of them accepted a baptismal date! By some weird chance, that couple has the family name Bustos, just like the two brothers Bustos in Pellegrini who also accepted baptismal dates. I can't begin to explain the deeply good feeling that accompanies both of those events, both fraught with faith.

In termination of this letter, I want to say just how overjoyed I am to be here. I have never grown so much as I have here. Before my mission I thought I had felt peace, but I can attest firmly to the fact that this mission has blown out of the water every feeling of peace that I have ever felt before. And that is solely because of the overwhelming feeling of willingness to serve. And like it says in Luke 7:47, to whom little is forgiven, the same loveth little; and, by implied opposite, to whom much is forgiven, the same loveth much. Looking back on who I was in the past, it is clear that the Lord has forgiven me of so incredibly much, and I will love and praise Him forever because of it. As another scripture says, "And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free." I felt free before my mission, but looking back on it I feel like I was a slave. Because of all the immense blessings and growth I have experienced, I have seen the Heavens and the Eternities opened to my view like never before, and I am even more unable than before to reject the veracity of the restored Gospel of Jesus Christ. It is perfect, and I have never seen anything more beautiful. I fully plan for this to be my life for the rest of forever, and I will be free because of it.

Con amor de Argentina,

Elder Hill

P.S.  So you know, I will not be able to call in the mornings in this area because we have to ride a bus all the way into el Centro to get to a cyberlab. I'll try to call at other times, as opportunity permits.