This week has been
insane. After we got back to Pellegrini from Mitre (which is where I was
in San Rafael), we had a few days of normal work, which was basically
the first "normal work" I've had because my companion is so incredibly
busy, being the district and zone leader. And because of those callings,
we're actually back in San Rafael today, too, in Balloffet. And now,
because of all my time in the sunshine, I have developed a sunburn that
outlines my glasses, which is weird because the sunlight streams down
from above, but apparently the Sun doesn't care about geometry, so
that's cool.
By the way, I forgot to mention
last week that I encountered an Hermana Caldwell from Gilbert, who is
currently in Tunuyán. I don't remember exactly who the Caldwells are,
but I recognize the name, so I wanted to mention her. Oh, and there's
also an Arizona here in Mendoza! I think it's somewhere near the eastern
border of the province, but I don't remember.
And
now for a brief section of puns. Firstly, I saw the movie Inside Out
sitting on a desk today, and in Spanish it's called Intensa Mente, which
is so funny to me because it means "Intense Mind", but "Intensamente"
means "intensely", too. Then there's the fact that, by definition,
everything I say is a blessing. The word for "blessing" is "bendición",
which comes from "ben", meaning good, and "dición", which is from
"decir", which means "to say". Thus, I am good by definition, and
furthermore everything I say is a Bendición. Boom. There's also a funny
pair of verbs that I want to mention: "casar" and "cazar". The first
means "to marry", which is actually related to the word "casa", which
means home; the latter means "to hunt". When I asked my maestros at the
CCM about it, they jokingly said there was no difference. Yeah, I can
definitely see that. Then there's also the fact that every tie I have is
from one specific country, by some weird chance... They're from
Tieland.
And I'm a dork.
Now
for more details of my week. Basically, there's not much to say. We
have given a handful of short lessons to various member families and one
less-active family, but we don't have any new investigators except for
the less-active family. That's wonderful, but it's not very exciting to
say. We also discovered this week that our area of Pellegrini, which we
had not had a map for until we printed one out ourselves this week,
covers somewhere around 600-800 square kilometers, and also includes the
cities of Bowen and Caramensa, which are 13 and 17 km away,
respectively. Ouch. But hey, at least I'm working.
Now
for the defining occurrence of the week: pride. Again. This whole week
I've been feeling like my spirit was burning, kind of like friction;
something was bothering me immensely, and I couldn't figure out what it
was. It was really hurting after a couple of days, and I was praying to
know what the problem was. Then one morning it came to me right after we
left the pensión to go contacting: pride pride pride pride pride pride
pride. I had thought before that I was humble enough to see my own pride
and how far I needed to go, but apparently I was blind again. The
problem was that I was trying to do this work my way, not His. I don't
know how I never saw that before, but one way or another I see it now.
The main problem, as far as I can tell, was that I was trying to make my
daily schedule bend around me so I could study the things I wanted to
study, like Jesus the Christ, the book of Abraham, awesome and sciency
sections of the book of Doctrine and Covenants, etc. But it has finally
worked its way into my heart that I can't do that any more; those are
not bad things, but I now have something critically more important than
they. This is the work of Salvation, and I was somehow trying to do
God's plan my way; that obviously doesn't work. Thus, I still have such a
long way to go in developing myself, and I hope I can always be
teachable enough to be able to feel the rightness of such promptings and
growths.
Another thing that is really
interesting is that a part of my mind has still not accepted that other
countries and languages and cultures exist. At times, I grow irritated
because some irrational part of my subconscious can't accept that people
actually speak other languages, and it all feels like some kind of
enormous conspiracy or prank. Obviously, I don't really think that, but I
don't think my subconscious fully believes that I'm not at home any
more. That's a weird feeling.
Now, on a lighter
note, I want to share the scripture that I referenced in the title,
which has helped me be happier today: Alma 26:27. "Now when our hearts
were depressed, and we were about to turn back, behold, the Lord
comforted us, and said: Go amongst thy brethren, the Lamanites, and bear
with patience thine afflictions, and I will give unto you success."
There you go. Pure light in my soul. A promise of success.
I
also want to say that I AM SO RIDICULOUSLY HAPPY THAT I HAVE A NEW
NIECE. There are not powerful enough superlatives in English to express
how happy I am that Olivia is here now. I already love her, and I've
never even met her. Thank you so much for telling me about her
nacimiento. Shirley, please let her know that I'm sending her all the
love I can muster from this far away.
Guys,
this mission is rough. I'm a gringo in the middle of Argentina, and I
can't understand what anybody says, so my decent ability to speak is
almost pointless right now. But I have never grown so much. I can't
possibly imagine any way I could ever grow more efficiently than I am
now, because I absolutely have to turn outside myself for help, because
for the first time in my life I don't have the answers I need within
myself. I really was pampered back home, what with everyone speaking the
same language I spoke, and all. And speaking of the language, I have
also found that my faith is severely lacking in the gift of
interpretation of tongues by the Spirit, and I have realized that that
is the reason I can't understand. I have seen miracles in how well I can
speak, and I have seen the same in understanding, but the latter are in
passing, like God is showing me what I can do if I trust more in Him.
But I'm working on it, and I'm trying to step off that ledge of doubt.
I
love the words of the song "Long Long Journey" by Enya, especially now,
when the mission seems to me some looming, extremely long doom ahead of
me. "Long, long journey through the darkness; long, long way to go. But
what are miles across the ocean to the heart that's coming home?" I
feel like I'm finally coming home to myself, and it took me moving to
the other side of the world to do it. And besides that, two years will
seriously pass is the blink of an eye, and I can even see that now; I
have already completed nearly two months of my mission, and that's a
twelfth! I'll be home before any of us know it. And, at this rate, what
with my confused subconscious, perhaps I won't even realize I ever left.
Now, THAT would be weird.
"Half a world away,
with dirt on my shoes, the shadows find me there and bring the rain, and
they leave my soul bruised. Broken and alone, heaven clouds over, and
from behind I hear a song that reminds me of [Home]: I'll carry your
burden, son, and take away all your fears. When you look up and see the
light, you know I'll be here. When your knees can't hold you up, and
your heart drowns in tears, then you'll look up and see the light; you
know I'll be right here." - "The Woman Who Holds the World" by Our
Future Selves (lyrics by Robert Hill).
Photos:
279: Hermanas en mi CCM distrito
310: Avion en nuestro viaje a Mendoza
327: Cerro de Gloria in Mendoza, my first day there
330: También
337: Yo y Élder Avila
340: Con la wacha
361: Mi pensión
365: Para que sepa, Madre, si quieres saber
366: Pensión otra vez
383: Jugando fútbol hoy
No comments:
Post a Comment